dance with me...

“brown skin…you know I love your
brown skin…”

the melody floats from india’s throat
to coat me from head to toe
while the guitar seduces
in coaxing slopes, undressing
the keys while she continues confessing…

“I can’t tell where yours begins…
I can’t tell where mine ends…”

I’m drawn into you like strokes of
a flame thrust upon the canvas
of a rapture untamed
I fold into your frame
a dormant temptation
stoked ablaze
by the motion of
our rhythmic illustration

“brown skin…up against
my brown skin…”

our limbs bend
to blend unending into
one movement
one groove fermenting
into one sensation
cementing us into
one intertwined emotion

“need some every
now and then…”

i plead insanity

he is the bandit who stole sanity from me
he is the bandit who stole sanity from me
he is the bandit who stole sanity from me

repetitious whips slit through mental will
triggering feelings of guilt
then filled by the millions of voices
that tell me my choice was correct
my decision to kill, a perfect skill

I am not a suspect
you see...i was neglected
it affected me
didn’t expect it to
lead me on this killing spree
of one...

his attention for me was suspended
and I was sent to detention for
wanting too much from him
wanting him too much
wanting, while he taunted me
with words like love and forever
promise dangled in front of me
like a mangled coyote chasing
a stiff-neck bird
How clever, the “never” that
echoed through his actions
were missing from his kisses
there was no impotency
of his dick
because of this

He is the bandit...

not me...
all I wanted to do was love
him above all others
woo him with true
intentions
seduce him with
my sexy dimensions
he was supposed to mean
more to me
than being yet another
who walked out on me

who stole my sanity...

not him, he said
his eyes ablaze with
anger, then doused
by fear
he is the
nameless blame
I am the
faceless shame
we play the
same tired game
that finishes the same
I am the /loser/victim/creator of mayhem
I am the/clueless/mentally sick/sista who killed him
in the end
because he never
befriended me

from me

he took everything
and so I did the same
and the finger
pointed to blame
anointed me
appointed me
as snuffer of the flame
but I made sure
he didn’t suffer
I wasn’t rough
and he was tougher
but eventually I’d had enough
I put a bullet blast in place of
the smirk that plastered his face

ooops...did I just say I killed him?
see...he willed me to do it
he was thrilled that I was skilled
with the gun
taught me how to use it for
hunting and fun
too bad he was the one
to feel the steel seed
before I was done
yeah...I watched him bleed

My greed to succeed is now satisfied
My need to wreak havoc now quiet inside
I feed on that feeling as though it were fried
I watch as both he and the voices have died

his lips

his lips
shape words
into
delicious invitation
sheathed in
an intoxicating
libation
of ebon notes
their weight
a gravitational pucker
entrancing
the dancing
eyes of me
a love-struck one

his lips
allows the roll
of droll conversation
to mask his
quiet contemplation
a controlled
indigo
ebb and flow
of sound
that bounds
through bones
in fervent waves
then
shimmers
upon
my
searing
skin
in
lava-like
cascades

his lips
conjure up past
escapades
and
dangerously
sensual liaisons
while
beckoning
awakened sensations
with nibbling
assault
my breath now
caught
within the
taut
webbing of his
plotting
my mouth as
dry
as sun-baked
cotton

his lips
have me besotted
with desire
as they spark
my skin
beneath his
dark
mischievous grin
his teeth
nip nipples
and send faint ripples
throughout my being
freeing
cream
from
within
me
the juncture
'tween my hips
from where
he now
sips
with the
quiet
conquer
of
his lips

his name was al

al was this
intoxicating
amber libation
swished against
my consciousness
with crimson
swizzle sticks of
minute kisses and
frenzied licks

my mind fell
supine with
sublime inebriation
the fermentation
within my belly
burned the lining
with fine yearning
and my hands were
left unsteady
my vision spinning
and yet ready
for the hallucination
that would lead
my soul to bliss

the sips at first
were hesitant
yet i was fully
cognizant
and so i drank
in fervent bursts
as acrid vapors
of my curses
stained his
tongue an indigo
and i gulped wildly
of his flow
until his mouth
lay empty

and as that
wicked witch's brew
shot bourbon bullets
right into
the 7th and 8th vertebrae
of father time's
decrepit spine
it paralyzed
both him and me
as i could not
afford to flee
and so i spent
what i had left
for drops
on bereft fingertips

and now I sit
within a room
full of souls like me
thinking back on
how I drank his
poisonous chablis
my spirit is now blanketed
with third degree burns
while I fidget impatiently
waiting for my turn
to rise before inquiring eyes
my confession now symbolic:

"Hi, my name is Nikki, and I'm an al-coholic"

granny

enslaved labor had long since died on her hands
it's callused carcass lay in dismemberment in her tightened fists

her mouth was like a sour flower, a frown of wilted lips
beaten free from blossoming beauty
by the same fury that pressed her with pretend caresses
in the middle of the night...
back then it was of more importance
to fight in order to keep her man
instead of fighting off his hands

she grew up creamy coffee
picking rows of cotton white
planting fields of tobacco black
living nighmares of negro blues
dreaming futures of more hopeful hues

her momma found it hard to love a girl
who mirrored what she hated most
cutting her with words of self-hatred
watching the wounds scab on her daughter
yet feeling too helpless to end the slaughter

the evidence of her momma's terror
still spoke in whispers on her face
traced in wrinkled streaks of former grace
the skeletal remnants of a spark
lay in the sienna of her eyes
drowned out by tears she feared of shedding

her voice was uneven gravel thrown in pebbles
that skipped across my stream of consciousness
leaving minutes rips upon my eardrums
as sorrow having stolen sound
where wistful song was once abound

she walked with battered body
posture shattered into shards of grief
as bitterness had played the thief
by stealing strength and leaving weakness

I observed her as I walked beside her
stepping cautiously so as not to cut
my feet with fragments of her dreams

and hoped that through a future lens
I wasn’t viewing me

fear of loving

I pretended fending off his touch
with hands tattooed of secret want
to curve in anxious pause
from palm to ends
and sink, enthralled
within his skin
while swimming deep from fringe to fringe
exploring caverns of his form

my pursed lips cursed
in crimson bursts
determined not to quench a throat
constricted with a desert thirst
while want to thrive
within his eyes
left me enraged with self-despise
even as his gentle shower
stole morsels from my weak willpower
and fed the starved mouth of desire
as my thoughts and needs
would not heed me
but instead they chose to bleed me
of resistance as they conspired
to put me on trial and prove me liar

the midnight liquid of his eyes
held stars as bright as silver lightening
intent on striking through a soul
made up of non-sparked upon charcoal
awaiting fire meant to free
the part of me ready to flee...
but my self admission of ignition
was stomped out by fear at the consequence
that comes with sudden acquiesce

but when he caught my breath of butterfly wings
with veiled netting of translucent dreams
his wet tongue stung my fretful flight
from desolation found in forever night
with an ache to soar far and beyond
the littered landscape of bitter longing
and raven clouds of life-long blues
while blushing me a ruby hue
of love much too long overdue

is it giving up
or giving in?
Is to drink of him a sin?
If I indulge, what do I win?
Will my life end, or begin again?

Eventually the choice is made -
I gave him all...
He chose to stay

black

I am

Cheerless and depressing

Soiled, as from soot

Evil, wicked

Straight through to the root

I am

Morbid in humor

Absent of hue

Disastrous, calamitous

Darker than the darkest blue

I am

Deserving of dishonor

Lacking of light

Angry, sullen

The opposite of white