iniquitous sista

i b ghetto

2008-10-10T19:40:00.001-04:00

b-ing ghetto supposedly means
b-ing battered by the blows of jagged woes
my form left haggard from the staggering height of problems
shattering my view of the sun
you think I’m that one
wrung dry of hope, head hung and lungs filled with
the smoke of ten dollar dope
my voice a constant holler against folk
who don’t live where I live
or die where I die
a holler against folk
who don’t cry like I cry
you think i
suffer through each day
just wishing I could die
to escape my neighborhood full of either
niggaz with trigger happy fingers
or cracked up bitches with lingering twitches
and old stitches tracking their guts
from the lack of birth or body control

well, that ain’t the only way ghetto folk roll

if you ever strolled through the perceived hell
you call my ghetto cell
you’d behold the golden light of young and old
souls shining bright through the oppressive folds
of unknown foes
those folk who overlook our glow and instead
seek to show us only the bleak view of ourselves
as if no hues of beauty could be construed
from the cracked concrete fracturing our streets
as if no joy could be secreted from spirits downbeat
as if each minute of our existence is replete with our defeat

if you ever bothered to step inside
the place I reside
you wouldn’t be so quick to stick
negative signs on our brick
telling us we sick
you wouldn’t be so slow to know
positive grows beneath your nose
and from rich soil we all rose
if you ever bothered to step inside
the place where I reside

but instead you point and snicker at us from the outside

malign our minds cuz they ain’t confined by society’s define
mine our shine then claim it’s yours but only more ‘refined’
assign crimes to our rhymes and not the capitalistic climb
enshrine our dead martyrs while you dine on our decline

then whine cuz our agenda ain’t aligned with your design

but digressing into explaining your transgressions
prevents me from addressing your misconceptions
of the ghetto’s imperfections…

look closer…

we b
bitches and hoes
sistas and bros
chickenheads willing to blow for the snow

look closer…

we b
folk working 80 hour weeks for little dough
children in schools where the quality’s low
parents with little time to watch their kids grow
teens who wear expensive clothes purely for show

look closer…

we b
folk you don’t know cuz you never stop through
folk whom you purposefully misconstrue
folk whose acknowledgement is long overdue
cuz we ain’t just the foundation, we’re the fucking GLUE

look closer…

and recognize

the ghetto in YOU

momentary loss/permanent loss

2006-08-09T11:23:00.000-04:00

i was doing me
when you came through
and then i was doing you

until i remembered the song
from my soul's refrain
and then i was doing me again

without you

that which i worship (repost)

2006-08-05T18:25:00.001-04:00

Unzipping your pants as I
Slip my hands in and pull out your tool
I'm already fueled as I visualize how
The next few minutes will unfold
I've been told I'm rather bold
When it comes to being oral
Very thorough with my treatment
As I sit here on my knees
Eager to please

You tower over me
With your legs spread widely
All the power over me
Found within your hardened masculinity
I'm hypnotized by it's enlarged head
Dreading the moment all of this ends
Spending time getting reacquainted with it's silky feel
Stealing furtive licks on the third eye
As it spys me, I can hear your quiet sigh

Standing, I fold my hands upon your chest
I take off your vest and whisper softly
For you to undress yourself of the rest
I can feel you breathing softly on my shoulder
I know it's about time for me to get a little bolder
Pushing you so you fall sprawling across the bed
Settling myself in between your muscled legs
I smile, knowing my appetite's about to be fed
Gonna leave your sanity crippled in my stead

I close my eyes as I slip you in between my soft lips
Flicking my tongue across the swollen veins of ya dick
Tricking you into thinking I won't take it all in
Grinning as I get ready to begin
Engulfing you down to your pubic base, tickling my tonsils
As I glance at your face, it's twisted pose
Showing me your sudden fall from grace
The spaces between your intakes of breath
Have become shorter as you near this sweet death

I'm at once inspired as I cradle your jewels
The silken sacs holding your sexual fuel
I can feel them tremble as the fluid moves through them
I swallow and suck in attempts to soothe them
They feel the vibrations as I beginning humming
I can see the sensation's almost got you cumming
As your hips rise and fall on the sheets with a thump
I sense your rod pulsate, and then it jumps
So I grab it and hold on to it steady
I can tell by it's heat that you're almost ready
As I hear your muffled groans, coupled in with my soft moans
My clit feels neglected, so I reach down to protect it
The cream from within me is gathered on the sheets
A puddle at the juncture where my chocolate thighs meet
Your breathing is ragged, composure is jagged
You twist to escape from my constant tongue tagging
My assault's unrelenting, as I remember your consenting
To this soft killing that's now got you ascending

You're grabbing my hair as you lose your control
My constant dick stroking has taken it's toll
You strangle out, 'faster',and I choose to comply
As I squeeze at the base, and look up on the sly
Your eyes are closed shut, and your face is contorted
It's covered with sweat, but my view is distorted
By the pillow you reached for to cover your mouth
As your ab muscles clench, and you let out a shout
'I'm bout ta cum baby' is your sudden announcement
I squeeze your jewels softly and continue mouth bouncing
Your thighs start to tighten, there's a momentary hush
Then all of a sudden, I feel the cum rush
From the bottom of your balls to the base of your dick
And right through the red, swollen head of your stick
Then the creamy stream hits the back of my throat
But I've done this before, so I know I won't choke
It's coming in waves, and I swallow it all
And during this time I'm still squeezing the balls
To make sure I get each and every last drop
I continue to suck, cuz I don't want to stop
Your body is flinching all over the place
And the pillow continues to cover your face
Your toes are now curled, and your thighs are now trembling
I can hear through the pillow that you've begun mumbling
Your rod has now softened, as I've sucked it dry
It's spent, and you're bent, as you let out a sigh
Cuz it's never been worshipped so thoroughly before
As you take off the pillow and whisper out 'MORE'

over it...get

2006-06-01T23:56:00.000-04:00

footsteps of your presence are
shadowed indentions throughout my thoughts
planting pits into my determined intention to forget

forget...

~~I want you~~

I want to

make you inconsequential
like a wind without the power to ruffle my clothes
or
a scent so light it escapes the reach of my nose
or
a shimmer so thin I can't see it’s there
or
a molecule so small it can sit on the tip of a split hair

but it ain’t that easy

cuz even though my
reality means remaining in a state
of never evolution
I remember
what almost was

what almost was

and dream of
what could have been

even as
I
smile into the faces of other men
i see
your
smile within the faces of other men

even as
i
style my life without you
I see
your
style within my life without you

cuz I cannot forget

i cannot forget...

help me to forget

disappear from the face of the earth
please
stop teasing me with your nearness
cuz you know you’re
far away
cease this game of friendly contact
cuz you know i
cannot play

you know what i want

~~I want you~~

I want to

forget

please

help me

by erasing the stain
of you
from my memory
by eradicating the disease
of you
from my blood
by exorcising the ghost
of you
from my soul

that's the least you can do
to help me to
forget
you

that is the question

2006-03-30T14:28:00.000-05:00

to bee or not to bee...

do i b that bee
to buzz around his head
a swarm of one bent on
the singular event of making
him hear me?

do i b that bee
to wait for him to
raise his hands in desperation
before swatting me down in
frustration cuz this bee b bugging?

do i b that bee
who does the stick and move
pricking through his skin
to prove to him
he needs my sting?

or do i b that bee
who pollinates his mind
procreating one of a kind
thoughts that mature like wine
and thrive like vines divine?

to bee
or not to bee
that is the question...

i choose not to bee.

he

2006-03-18T22:54:00.000-05:00

flows like profound
notes composed
he knows I am
in.
love exposed
within prose
i have
words enclosed
disclosing
i am
open.
nose
too wide
i suppose

verbal weaponry

2006-02-17T23:38:00.000-05:00

smooth edges
gleam against
shine of his teeth
bared as
each letter
of
each word
of
each sentence
of
his speech
cuts through
with surgical precision

splitting
membrane from bone
while pain splatters and stains
in toxic tides as
each atom
of
each cell
of
my being
curls fetal
from fatal division

briefest of moments

2006-02-15T22:57:00.000-05:00

for the briefest of moments
the feeling was real
i had love in my heart
and you had my will

for the briefest of moments
i felt i was blessed
this emotion for you
proved stronger than the rest

for the briefest of moments
the words to the songs
telling of devotion
were all sing-a-longs

for the briefest of moments
i had myself fooled
and tortured myself
after your passion cooled

yet the real tragedy
wasn't the ending of we
but in the briefest of moments
when i
had lost
me

it only takes seconds

2006-02-15T22:39:00.000-05:00

before the ink
on this paper
has dried
another black man
mortally wounded
has died

before what i
just wrote has
been comprehended
the life of another
young brother
has ended

before you throw
down this poem
in disgust
a bullet has
torn through
another one's guts

five to ten seconds
three black men
are gone
imagine how many
had this been
a song?

ten lines

2006-01-30T18:19:00.000-05:00

I wish I had at least nine lives
to experience each of the eight wonders
of your body at least seven times
licking each inch of it to within six degrees
of incineration as five fingertips
dive between four legs entangled...
so that the the meaning of
those three words are understood
as two spirits fold into
one
______________________________________________
here's the audio
______________________________________________

here's verseone's response. it didn't start off as a collab, but when i had him help me in the editing process, it was natural for the brotha to come up with a reply. spontaneous collaboration...

untitled

2006-01-29T11:51:00.000-05:00

I just want one sip
PLEASE
I know I haven’t exhibited the most control
over my urges
I’m always grabbing for it during the most
inopportune moments
but I can’t help myself!
if I could just lick the rim…

i won't even drink it all
just that drop sitting on the rim...
I see it right there
just let me have that
one little drop
so I can lose myself
in the taste of it
the feel of it on my tongue
PLEASE

I’ll do anything for it
here, you want my television?
take it!
here’s my check from last month
spend it on whatever you want
just let me have one sip
just one little sip
just one little bitty sip
PLEASE
and I promise I won’t beg again
I’ll get over this addiction
I’ll join a support group
and go through the twelve steps
and conquer this
I’ll be the good little girl
you want me to be
I won’t sneak sips
while you sleep
I won’t order it for breakfast, lunch and dinner
I won’t sneak a midnight snack
I’ll keep away from it
I PROMISE

just
just PLEASE
this one last time
let me drink
let me run my tongue along the rim
let me taste it
let me lose myself in it
you won’t regret it
I PROMISE

he looked at me.
nodded.
then stuck his dick in my mouth.

THANK YOU

untitled - repost from the other side

2006-01-24T23:32:00.000-05:00

he was on my mind like a

buck

fucking my thoughts

up with the slow stroking

delivery of his words

each syllable struck up

the incendiary matter of

my imagination with tinder images

of limbs braided into a love knot

of taut skin burned by hot sin

he stoked the embers of my fantasy

with the impaling member

of his vivid illustration

coaxing my creative juices

To flow over the fingers

of his lingering sentences

his keystrokes incited an ejaculation of emotion

that left me bereft of all

but a quivering cleft from where his lyrics

had licked my mind dry

time ta go

2005-12-19T20:10:00.000-05:00

i'm pleadin' for you to leave me
i'm beggin' for you to go
cuz this shit right here ain't workin'
i don't love you anymo'

you think this is bravado
think i'm just playin' games?
well check the locks there on the door
you'll notice they've been changed

no need for you to waste your time
tryin' to explain to me
how you're different, how you've changed
cuz dat spiel there ain't new to me

if i received a penny
for each promise from your lips
i could pay for tours around the world
in infinite numbered trips

it's hard admittin' i've been a fool
tryin' to maintain this
to think i could have changed you...
shit, now that thought's got me pissed

oh well, i've learned my lesson
got dat 'a' grade in dat class
now your luck's out
get the fuck out
let da doorknob
split dat ass

i love chocolate

2005-12-16T13:03:00.000-05:00

he was my
almond joy

i
licked and
nibbled
nibbled and
licked
until
i
swallowed his
nut

read me

2005-12-15T19:21:00.000-05:00

open...

my contents
are exposed
to your
thoughtful perusal
your caresses of crests
in the curves of my pages
your breath as it whispers
across my hushed surfaces
your fingers that linger
within the chasms
of my corners
the binding of
my spine cupped
in your palm
as your eyes
consume
the words
defining me

flirtation

2005-12-09T19:55:00.000-05:00

Beginning now, wink of her eyes, glances and short stares,
Quick touches, accidental bumps, honey better beware,
If she begins touching here, it will end with me touching there,
Me sucking there, and fucking up her permed up hair,

Backwards now, subtle hints, sexual on phone calls,
Dropping words in sexy tones, followed by a slow pause,
Talking bout lingerie, joking about wearing no draws,
Bout getting tattoos on her breast of roses, and cats claws,

Forward now, plays like a little girl, bumps me with her ass,
Tells her girls, 'tell him he's cute', giggling, acting fast,
What was that, touch on my hand, smile and little laugh,
Talking in circles, about her likes, from her sexual past,

Ending now, she's on the phone, saying words of temptation,
How she's so hot, and she's so horny, hinting masturbation,
Now, I am hot, and bother now, erotic hard sensation,
She hangs up the phone, I am ready to bone.....but...

It is only flirtation...

beginning now, blinking slowly with his eyes, his stance very aware
thick brushes against skin, intentional nudges, his ambitions are lain bare
I peep the bulge, itching to indulge in imbibing him right there
and transcribe my intentions in multi-dimensions upon his form…yet do I dare?

backwards now, he whispers of a wicked conversation
depicted to my burning ears in vivid illustration
an unrestricted rendering of cindered animation
that scorches paths across my mind in mental consummation

forward now, he licks his lips and puts his hands in heated places
upon my curves he speaks in tongue, dipped low in secret spaces
teasing with quick kisses while he promises to trace his
eager fingers over me, I gasp as my heart races

ending now, he intentionally adds to my sexual frustration
talking of how we should do this poetic collaboration
as if the words alone could end my constant contemplation
of fucking him, but that’s aiight…

cuz it’s only a flirtation

---------------

collaborated with a brotha who shall remain nameless, yet shameless.

the anal sex incident

2005-12-08T19:24:00.000-05:00

the year was 1997. the month was april. the day was friday. the time was 2:30 a.m. and we had been fucking like rabbits for the past two hours.

he wasn't my boyfriend and wasn't my husband. he was my fuck buddy, which is the equivalent of having my cake and eating it too, preferably from on top of his dick. our 'friendship with priviledges' had been going on for about three months, with us exhausting damn near every sexual position ever created by man along with a couple of new ones no sane person would ever try. luckily, neither one of us was sane, especially when it came to good sex.

yet, despite our adventurous nature in bed, we had never tried the big 'a'...anal sex. we'd talked about it a couple of times, but i just couldn't bring myself to do it, as i couldn't understand how sticking something in my ass was supposed to be pleasurable for me. i'd seen plenty of skin flicks where the woman looked practically overjoyed by the fact that some guy was ramming his dick in her ass, but we all know that's just an act. i mean, i'm never sitting on my toilet in orgasmic ecstacy after dropping a log, so how am i supposed to connect pleasure to the anus? after stating this very thing to kevin, i was sure the matter would be dropped permanently. needless to say, a brotha was nothing if not persistent.

so on this friday night in april at approximately 2:30 in the morning, the subject came up again. i was in a very accomodating mood, as he had just spent the last 45 minutes working minuets on my clit that had my toes curling so forcefully, i had cramps in my feet.

"so," he started slyly, "what next?"

"what do you mean, what next?" i already had a feeling what 'next' meant.

he started squeezing my asscheeks, as if that would be enough confirmation of what he was proposing. i understood perfectly, but chose to play dumb because i wasn't trying to get into that discussion again.

"doggie?" i asked, hoping he would take the hint.

of course he didn't.

"you know what i'm talking about, nikki," he said as he ran his finger slowly between my cheeks.

"oh shit, not this again."

"come on, nik," he cajoled, a little whine reverberating through his voice, "let me put it in your ass."

i continued to lay there on my stomach, eyes closed as i savored his hands rubbing my ass. man, but it's the little things, you know?

after a minute of contemplation, i figured, why not? my clit was still throbbing from his previous assault, so i was still in a giving mood.

"aiight."

"FINALLY!" he exclaimed, before scrambling from the bed to grab a condom off of his night table. he handed it to me for me to slide onto him. he was spoiled in that regard, because i always licked the tip of his dick a couple of times before rolling the latex onto it down to the base. it was my way of saying to the dick "thank you for just being you."

after placing the condom onto his dick, i turned around, bent over, and waited.

"ut oh." he says from behind me.

"what do you mean, ut oh?"

"uh, we don't have any lubrication back here..."

oh yeah...see, we used the non-lubricated condoms because the lubricants usually found on condoms made my twat itch. anyway, we'd never had a problem with lubrication when it came to REGULAR sex.

but this was anal sex and it can't happen without fabricated lubrication. i breathed a sigh of relief before turning over to stare at him.

"well, that's just too bad, huh?" i was cheesing like a person who had just been pardoned from death row.

"wait a sec!" he said quickly, turning around to dash into his bathroom. "i've gotta have something around here somewhere!"

like i said, a brotha was nothing if not persistent. and industrious.

i hear him fumbling around in the bathroom, tossing bottles and whatever he had in there aside looking for something to help him out. when he got back to the bed, he had a plastic bottle in his hand.

"this'll work," he said excitedly, as he handed me the bottle.

a bottle of VASELINE HAND LOTION.

"what the fuck?!" i exclaimed. "we can't use this! i'm not gonna have hand lotion in my ass, kevin."

"nikki," he sputtered anxiously, "it's almost as good as ky jelly!" he turned the bottle over and handed it back to me.

"see? it's got petroleum jelly in it!"

i held the bottle up close to my face to read the label in the low lighting.

"uh, this says petrolatum, kevin."

"it's the same thing!"

i looked at him, the skepticism i was feeling was blaring from every pore on my face.

"kevin..."

he suddenly dropped to his knees next to me on his bed.

"PLEEEEASE"

i just sat there looking at this grown man beg for the chance to stick his dick in my ass and realized this was the first time i had ever witnessed a man beg me for anything in such a manner.

it was funny as shit.

i pursed my lips.

"aiight, kevin," i said begrudgely, "but this shit better work."

"it will, i promise!"

at this point, kevin was damn near giddy with the whole thing. he was fucking BOUNCING on the bed with glee. he was like a kid who had just got his hands on a life supply of candy, only this candy was an ass tilted up in the air waiting for him to stick a vaseline-hand-lotion-lathered, condom-covered dick into it.

i sighed.

he grabbed me by the hips and pulled me back towards him. grabbing my asscheeks, he spread them slowly.

"here goes..."

and there he was at the entrance and i immediately stiffened. he placed his hand on my back and started rubbing it.

"relax, nik."

i took a deep breath, shimmied my ass a little, then forced myself to relax.

he very slowly started making his way forward. i braced myself while trying to stay as loose as possible, but that was some unnatural shit for me. think about it, we do not walk around on the daily thinking about keeping our anuses loose. we're too busy trying to keep it tight so nothing comes out. that's the only time i even think about my anus.

oh, that and when a dick is being shoved into it.

after about two minutes, he was finally all in. then he tried to pull back and i felt like he was taking my asshole with him.

"STOP!" i yelled. "DON'T FUCKING MOVE!"

he froze.

"relax, nikki!" kevin said again, as if i hadn't heard it the first time. as if relaxing my ass was gonna make it feel any better at this point.

"kevin..."

"just let it settle for a minute..."

"shit!"

after another minute had passed, he tried again to retreat. this time my ass felt like someone had put a torch to it. after rubbing it down with sandpaper. before clawing it with shards of glass.

"oh HELL nah, kevin!" i exclaimed, "take it out NOW."

"i'm trying!" he said, laughter sneaking into his voice.

"just yank the damn thing out!" i was getting more incensed as i realized he was laughing.

after listening to him snicker for a couple of seconds, i reached back to punch him and in his eagerness to get away, he stepped back and pulled out completely.

"OOOOOWOOOOOWOOOOWOOOOW!" i screamed as i felt him exit.

he burst out laughing.

i turned to him intending to kick him in the nuts. one look at him doubled over in laughter and i couldn't stay mad. i started laughing, too.

we laughed for what had to be at least five minutes, wiping the tears from each others' eyes in between guffaws and giggles. every time it seemed like we were done laughing, we'd look at each other and burst out laughing again.

turns out hand lotion, even hand lotion with petrolatum in it, absorbs too quickly into the skin for it to be an effective lubricant. his condom was bone dry when he pulled it out.

eventually we ended up on the bed, me on my stomach, and him rubbing my asscheeks as if to soothe the general area for the damage he'd caused.

of course it goes without saying that i would go on to shit logs smelling like vaseline hand lotion for the next couple of days. luckily they slid out with no problem because of the smoothness of the tunnel, courtesy of said vaseline hand lotion.

a couple of months later we tried it again. of course kevin was ready, having purchased three kinds of ky jelly just to make sure there was no stopping the show.

like i said. a brotha is nothing if not persistent. and this time, prepared.

what are we fighting for?

2005-12-01T19:05:00.000-05:00

our words curled into furious fists of fuss and toxic tongue trysts
and unfurling into a whirlwind of thrusted insults , cussing bliss
as a rain of fluid wrists renders clear whispers into blistered lisps
eclipsing what was once our love, now fighting to exist...

Do we debate on whether or not we should revitalize affection?
or castrate contemplation of our love's resuscitation
as hate gestates within our belly, patience gasps in strangulation
while grasping for the fleeting thoughts of calm and contemplation
we stumble from the acid blows of verbalized rejection
borne of stagnation, neglect and suspect handling of respect
capitulation of self-esteem amid explosions of pin-burst dreams
exposing undetected mine fields of reclining fear and bloodied streams
of wounded pride while trying to hide the spies of spite that fester inside
as thorned petals of our little white lies adorn the wall of growing despise
the guilty-plated bullets bore through the core of our foundation
yet packed within the cracks are hopes of love's rejuvenation

Are we protesting the ending of this entire situation?
Or are we battling for the birth of individual salvation?

dance with me...

2005-11-29T23:44:00.000-05:00

“brown skin…you know I love your
brown skin…”

the melody floats from india’s throat
to coat me from head to toe
while the guitar seduces
in coaxing slopes, undressing
the keys while she continues confessing…

“I can’t tell where yours begins…
I can’t tell where mine ends…”

I’m drawn into you like strokes of
a flame thrust upon the canvas
of a rapture untamed
I fold into your frame
a dormant temptation
stoked ablaze
by the motion of
our rhythmic illustration

“brown skin…up against
my brown skin…”

our limbs bend
to blend unending into
one movement
one groove fermenting
into one sensation
cementing us into
one intertwined emotion

“need some every
now and then…”

i plead insanity

2005-11-28T19:55:00.000-05:00

he is the bandit who stole sanity from me
he is the bandit who stole sanity from me
he is the bandit who stole sanity from me

repetitious whips slit through mental will
triggering feelings of guilt
then filled by the millions of voices
that tell me my choice was correct
my decision to kill, a perfect skill

I am not a suspect
you see...i was neglected
it affected me
didn’t expect it to
lead me on this killing spree
of one...

his attention for me was suspended
and I was sent to detention for
wanting too much from him
wanting him too much
wanting, while he taunted me
with words like love and forever
promise dangled in front of me
like a mangled coyote chasing
a stiff-neck bird
How clever, the “never” that
echoed through his actions
were missing from his kisses
there was no impotency
of his dick
because of this

He is the bandit...

not me...
all I wanted to do was love
him above all others
woo him with true
intentions
seduce him with
my sexy dimensions
he was supposed to mean
more to me
than being yet another
who walked out on me

who stole my sanity...

not him, he said
his eyes ablaze with
anger, then doused
by fear
he is the
nameless blame
I am the
faceless shame
we play the
same tired game
that finishes the same
I am the /loser/victim/creator of mayhem
I am the/clueless/mentally sick/sista who killed him
in the end
because he never
befriended me

from me

he took everything
and so I did the same
and the finger
pointed to blame
anointed me
appointed me
as snuffer of the flame
but I made sure
he didn’t suffer
I wasn’t rough
and he was tougher
but eventually I’d had enough
I put a bullet blast in place of
the smirk that plastered his face

ooops...did I just say I killed him?
see...he willed me to do it
he was thrilled that I was skilled
with the gun
taught me how to use it for
hunting and fun
too bad he was the one
to feel the steel seed
before I was done
yeah...I watched him bleed

My greed to succeed is now satisfied
My need to wreak havoc now quiet inside
I feed on that feeling as though it were fried
I watch as both he and the voices have died

his lips

2005-11-23T20:32:00.000-05:00

his lips
shape words
into
delicious invitation
sheathed in
an intoxicating
libation
of ebon notes
their weight
a gravitational pucker
entrancing
the dancing
eyes of me
a love-struck one

his lips
allows the roll
of droll conversation
to mask his
quiet contemplation
a controlled
indigo
ebb and flow
of sound
that bounds
through bones
in fervent waves
then
shimmers
upon
my
searing
skin
in
lava-like
cascades

his lips
conjure up past
escapades
and
dangerously
sensual liaisons
while
beckoning
awakened sensations
with nibbling
assault
my breath now
caught
within the
taut
webbing of his
plotting
my mouth as
dry
as sun-baked
cotton

his lips
have me besotted
with desire
as they spark
my skin
beneath his
dark
mischievous grin
his teeth
nip nipples
and send faint ripples
throughout my being
freeing
cream
from
within
me
the juncture
'tween my hips
from where
he now
sips
with the
quiet
conquer
of
his lips

his name was al

2005-11-17T21:23:00.000-05:00

al was this
intoxicating
amber libation
swished against
my consciousness
with crimson
swizzle sticks of
minute kisses and
frenzied licks

my mind fell
supine with
sublime inebriation
the fermentation
within my belly
burned the lining
with fine yearning
and my hands were
left unsteady
my vision spinning
and yet ready
for the hallucination
that would lead
my soul to bliss

the sips at first
were hesitant
yet i was fully
cognizant
and so i drank
in fervent bursts
as acrid vapors
of my curses
stained his
tongue an indigo
and i gulped wildly
of his flow
until his mouth
lay empty

and as that
wicked witch's brew
shot bourbon bullets
right into
the 7th and 8th vertebrae
of father time's
decrepit spine
it paralyzed
both him and me
as i could not
afford to flee
and so i spent
what i had left
for drops
on bereft fingertips

and now I sit
within a room
full of souls like me
thinking back on
how I drank his
poisonous chablis
my spirit is now blanketed
with third degree burns
while I fidget impatiently
waiting for my turn
to rise before inquiring eyes
my confession now symbolic:

"Hi, my name is Nikki, and I'm an al-coholic"

granny

2005-11-17T21:19:00.000-05:00

enslaved labor had long since died on her hands
it's callused carcass lay in dismemberment in her tightened fists

her mouth was like a sour flower, a frown of wilted lips
beaten free from blossoming beauty
by the same fury that pressed her with pretend caresses
in the middle of the night...
back then it was of more importance
to fight in order to keep her man
instead of fighting off his hands

she grew up creamy coffee
picking rows of cotton white
planting fields of tobacco black
living nighmares of negro blues
dreaming futures of more hopeful hues

her momma found it hard to love a girl
who mirrored what she hated most
cutting her with words of self-hatred
watching the wounds scab on her daughter
yet feeling too helpless to end the slaughter

the evidence of her momma's terror
still spoke in whispers on her face
traced in wrinkled streaks of former grace
the skeletal remnants of a spark
lay in the sienna of her eyes
drowned out by tears she feared of shedding

her voice was uneven gravel thrown in pebbles
that skipped across my stream of consciousness
leaving minutes rips upon my eardrums
as sorrow having stolen sound
where wistful song was once abound

she walked with battered body
posture shattered into shards of grief
as bitterness had played the thief
by stealing strength and leaving weakness

I observed her as I walked beside her
stepping cautiously so as not to cut
my feet with fragments of her dreams

and hoped that through a future lens
I wasn’t viewing me

fear of loving

2005-11-17T21:16:00.000-05:00

I pretended fending off his touch
with hands tattooed of secret want
to curve in anxious pause
from palm to ends
and sink, enthralled
within his skin
while swimming deep from fringe to fringe
exploring caverns of his form

my pursed lips cursed
in crimson bursts
determined not to quench a throat
constricted with a desert thirst
while want to thrive
within his eyes
left me enraged with self-despise
even as his gentle shower
stole morsels from my weak willpower
and fed the starved mouth of desire
as my thoughts and needs
would not heed me
but instead they chose to bleed me
of resistance as they conspired
to put me on trial and prove me liar

the midnight liquid of his eyes
held stars as bright as silver lightening
intent on striking through a soul
made up of non-sparked upon charcoal
awaiting fire meant to free
the part of me ready to flee...
but my self admission of ignition
was stomped out by fear at the consequence
that comes with sudden acquiesce

but when he caught my breath of butterfly wings
with veiled netting of translucent dreams
his wet tongue stung my fretful flight
from desolation found in forever night
with an ache to soar far and beyond
the littered landscape of bitter longing
and raven clouds of life-long blues
while blushing me a ruby hue
of love much too long overdue

is it giving up
or giving in?
Is to drink of him a sin?
If I indulge, what do I win?
Will my life end, or begin again?

Eventually the choice is made -
I gave him all...
He chose to stay

black

2005-11-07T12:07:00.000-05:00

I am

Cheerless and depressing

Soiled, as from soot

Evil, wicked

Straight through to the root

I am

Morbid in humor

Absent of hue

Disastrous, calamitous

Darker than the darkest blue

I am

Deserving of dishonor

Lacking of light

Angry, sullen

The opposite of white

it's u..its us

2005-09-19T23:14:00.000-04:00

that's yo sista selling her ass on the streets cuz she needs money for food to eat
that's yo momma sucking a man's dick for the rush that comes from a heroin's prick
that's yo brother selling crack cocaine cuz he's not a legitimate part of capital gain
that's yo cousin killing yo father cuz his foot was stepped on and he was bothered
that's you on the sidelines, observing the circus, not recognizing the participants as all of us
you're the one saying that your vote don't count, saying that your opinion don't amount
to shit...you're the one complaining bout this current status quo, then sustaining the current viewpoint of black women being "hoes"...you're the one not questioning the motives of the powerful, destining the ones after us to see is as the cowards and fools
you're the one buying that Roca shirt with your very last dime, then wondering why yo ass is broke all da time
you're the one making preparation for your college education, then separating yourself from the problems of your black generation
you're the one looking to others for a handout, then get mad when they don't comply, and label them a sellout
you're the one buying the malt liquor and weed, knowing they weaken the strength of your seed

don't act like you don't see, and that you ain't feelin it
cuz either you're saving our future, or you're the hand killin it

woeman

2005-05-08T21:00:00.000-04:00

she is a woman

brown skin pulled over
exhausted bones
caustic tones of
rhythmic moans
is her only music
the orbs of her eyes
streak red with jaded vision
like the animal tracks
scaling her stomach
in crimson incisions

those were the remnants of
her past decisions

she is a woman

bent back hovered over
a wired stage of lights
dirty white tights
tautly wrapped on
long legs once pegged for
walking towards other dreams
as pretend lovers admire her
reflected image of
red satin painted on
dark coffee curves

her purpose here is
only to serve

she is a woman

platinum blonde wig covering
ebon plaited hair
the long tresses fall over
her fallen breasts
the voices around her
bellow
for her to strip her self
of what’s left
below

no rest for the weary
just completion of the show

she is a woman

faded figure of
absent rigor
their claps trigger
her every movement
only eager
is her reach
for each
dollar bill
the one thing she’d
kill for
give up her
free will for

her humanity’s fake
she’s seen as a real whore

but she IS a woman
a woman who strips
her voice speaks from between
two full lips
her spirit leaks
through her satin seams
her soul still creeps
towards her distant dreams

blockage

2005-05-06T16:15:00.000-04:00

I am looking for
fibrous substance
to relieve me of the shit
now constipating my fingers

this blockage lingers
like cigarette rings on ceramic
leaving stagnant stanzas
to dangle like participles
from my mind

I’m in a rough age
where just living should
be enough of a muse
to suffuse my psyche
with the necessary words

yet my fingers continue to swell
with unpainted thoughts
bloated with the carcasses
from battles fought
between the tribes of trite and true

I’ll continue to experience life
in hopes that I digest enough fiber
to release the excrement now
unwilling to spill freely from within me
I’m tired of staring at unstained paper

i am...

2005-05-06T16:14:00.000-04:00

I am
The stretch marks on my momma’s belly
The yellow streaks staining the tile next to the toilet
The boil on my auntie’s ass
The plastic melting of a Barbie doll’s body in the summer sun
The wonder vanishing from a molested child’s eyes
The fries burning black on an unattended stove
The roving mind of the constantly bored
The hollow core of one forever lonely
The homely daughter who can’t be given away
The ray of light fighting to shine through the darkness

I am
Forever amazed by life’s starkness

broken america

2005-05-05T18:24:00.000-04:00

we
we are
we are broke
we are brok(en)
we are brok(en) america

shattered by status
into slivers of class
then gathered like chattel
into houses of glass

we
we are
we are broke
we are brok(en)
we are brok(en) america

splintered by hue
into separate milieus
yet only a few
are afforded the view

we
we are
we are broke
we are brok(en)
we are brok(en) america

dismembered by religion
into headless congregations
scared into believing
in invading other nations

we
we are
we are broke
we are brok(en)
we are brok(en) America

contusions disguised
in a coat of confusion
but it can’t conceal
our scars of delusion

we
we are
we are broke
we are brok(en)
we are brok(en) America

diversity turned into
reason to open
the wounds
of an america broken

rough rider

2005-05-03T22:14:00.000-04:00

trippin with the realization
that i'm addicted to being inflicted upon
i beg you to empale me with your weapon
as you brand my ass with your hand
slapping my cheeks with no signs of weakness
trying to get me to that mountanous peak
sleek skin sliding across my satin sheets
rising heat from friction across surfaces
nervousness at the eventual loss of control
you're stroking so deep you're touching my soul
grabbing my hips so as not to slip
stabbing my insides, leaving them tender
rendering me useless, as you pick up the pace
racing to eruption, tracing your path again and again
beginning the clenching, frenching my mouth as the
tension is building
breathing erratic
sexual static
creates
explosion, release
satisfaction,
peace...

i fantasize (and self-satisfy)

2005-05-02T18:45:00.000-04:00

i fantasize with my mind's eye about a rendezvous with you
as my fingers make their way to the velvet folds between my legs
you would have da candles lit
i'm now strokin softly across my clit
'black love' burnin, i'm smelling da scent
my legs spread open, anticipating da cream to be spent
you got the music playin, whispering in my ear...whatchu sayin?
my hips start to sink and rise as i continue with my personal playin
you tellin me how you gonna stroke me like an artist strokes a canvas with his brush
got me flowin like da mississippi, my eyes slit, cheeks flushed
you cuppin my ass as you place yo face in da valley 'tween my thighs
now i'm moaning softly as yo phantom tongue's making me sigh
you got me buckin wildly, the windows vibrating from my cries
as you lingua does gymnastic moves, takin me to mountainous highs
i can feel da fever building, as my muscles start to clench
my creamy flow has left my sheets completely drenched
then you slide yo fingers in to conduct me to crescendo
and my hips raise from off da bed, my scream has shattered all da windows
my breath escapes in splattered spurts, cummin so hard my stomach hurts
and now my fingers clamp my clit...remember how you made it spit
i taste my cum upon your lips, i knew it would taste just like this
but that part is just the beginning of our explicit midnight tryst
i reminisce about dat kiss, as i bring myself to final bliss
then you sprawl across the bed, waitin for a little 'head
i thought i was gonna ride, but i'll suck on it instead
as the tinglin throughout my body continues its rhythmic pulsin'
i know in just a minute or two, i'll have yo ass convulsin'
as i come down from dat high, still quivering in the heat
awaiting the next episode as i close my eyes to sleep

here is where i will put my poetry

2005-05-02T18:08:00.000-04:00

cuz i don't want to force my lustful thoughts on others...